Gimmie a break ....

I always like to see how people ended up at my blog and man there have been lots of Google searches about only children, and only child syndrome. Then you run into articles that quote things like only children are lavished with attention, undisciplined, and plain spoiled which right now I’d like to call BS on.

Am I spoiled? Yes, but not because of the fact I am an only child more so than I was an over achiever who worked hard in school, worked hard at any job I had, and overall am a pleaser. I was always up to more good than I was bad and I was rewarded. 

Does that mean I got everything I wanted?  NO! We were not a rich family growing up and the things I was spoiled about were more like food, and books, etc. There were no computers, iphones, and Nintendo DS. When I look at my friends with more than one child and see the things they are given because the neighbor next door has one I just laugh. I was spoiled but it wasn’t material.

Was there discipline? Of course and lots of it. If you were to ever meet my mom you’d know to this day she still has no issue smacking my hand and telling me no. I grew up in the years that CPS didn’t come to your house for spanking your children and there was the one summer that I stole her cigarettes and I spent the remainder of the summer in my room, no TV or radio. Still to this day my mother remembers things I did and when I got caught stealing (she caught me before I got out the store with it) I am the one who wrote the letter exiling myself from the family. She showed me that letter I wrote after that addressed to her full name, and signed by her ex daughter. She didn’t even have to tell me how much trouble I was in because I knew right from wrong and I knew exactly what I did wrong.

Hell one time I let the F-word slip when I was young, and I’m sure to this day my folks chuckled about it but I cried all the way home scared of what was to come. I punished myself way better than my parents ever did and in a lot of cases they let me do just that. It would be years before I figured out they did this because I came up with stronger punishments than they would have. 

I was the one most hard on myself and still am. When I feel entitled to something it’s because I’ve worked hard to get it not because my folks gave it to me. Not because I should just get it because I’m ME, and ME is the most important.

If you are dealing with an only child now who gets it all you can bet there are just as many middle children running around with the same gadgets. The same lax parent attitude, and birth right has nothing to do with it. It’s just a sign of the times, and a change in parenting. So the next time you Goggle only-child syndrome because they are out of control, take a look at yourself. Parenting makes all the difference and if you want to make sure you raise a humble child, then teach them to be just that. At least teach them that if they are going to walk around head high and full of entitlement that they learned to walk around with that kind of attitude all on their own and not because you’ve just bought them all the newest toys or best clothes. There is nothing wrong for celebrating your child’s accomplishment but keep it in check and don’t buy into all only children are one in the same because we are examples of our parents. Ask mine, she’ll tell you that every time. 

Comments

[Jean]

Totally agree with you!!! I got everything through sheer hardwork, and most of the time I am the one who is hard on myself to achieve what I want in life.

Thanks for the blog post! You have voice out what we - the only child wanted to say for a long long time.

[simplym]

I definitely agree with you. I deserved things because I merit them. I lived to please my mother, and no it wasn't easy. I too was spoiled but with food, and just love. My mother does my laundry to this day and I am almost hitting 30! However, I try my best to be a good daughter, and always be there for her.

Also, I am very glad I found this blog. Both my DH and I are only child's and can relate.