I wrote this last night on my facebook and remembered OMG I have a blog; I bet you all thought I had forgotten about it.
So today you get yesterdays post, but starting tomorrow you'll get something witty, funny, embersassing, and plain and simple unedited. Why you ask? Well if I started to learn to use comas, colons, and semi-colons correctly would you love me more? If so .... you are just TOO shallow :)
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It only seems fitting that I start writing again one day before the New Year. 2009 was a year that sucked so much energy out of me that even something as soul cleansing as writing lost it’s touch and instead I think the year swallowed me whole and left me empty. In no particular order I’d like to say goodbye to some things that were hard to let go, move on, and get past but have fueled my drive for the 2010 year and all it should bring …
To Wanderlust: who I will forever love. He was my best friend, my rock and it sucks that no matter how good we ever were that when the day came that I needed him he’d fail me. It’s hard to look at yourself and say “I’m his crutch” but in the end that is what proved to be true. He’s an amazing man and taught me so much about myself and got me writing again in the first place however when all I wanted to do was drunk dial him and yell about how much energy seemed wasted; well the writing was on the wall. Our memories will always be with me, and for that I am thankful and wouldn’t change anything. Our paths may even cross again, but we will never be the same and to those days I say goodbye.
To the job: that I killed myself on a daily basis only to learn within the first few months the cards were stacked against me. To the IT department that I fought with tooth and nail for each client I had I bid you farewell. Not every memory will be bad as I met some wonderful people, but if I learned anything it is no matter how good you may be at your job if someone wants you gone and they have enough power; it will happen.
To my Aunt who passed: The love that she had for our family and myself her horse; she will be thought of lots but I say goodbye to the grief and move on to happier memories of her life. To the thoughts of cold nights, and bunk beds with my cousin chadder mc chadderson, and of her ready to beat up my boyfriend of 17 because she thought he was cheating on me. Yes, goodbye to the body with cancer that took her away from us. For now she lives stronger and better somewhere else, somewhere better.
Goodbye to the me: Who never feels accepted yet craves acceptance by everyone and accepting it is nothing but a pipe dream. Instead it will be a year of being ok with myself and loving every minute of being me. Goodbye to the haters who don’t get that I am selfish at times, spoiled at others, but if you take even a moment to get to know me that I am full of love for everyone. This only childsyndrome is easy to break ...
To 2010 a year full of change physically, mentally and spiritually. Please let it be good to all of us and please inspire me to fill these pages again .. so much to say as always ;)
I enjoy reading your thoughts. I'm an only child too. I. The last three years I've lost to death the few who I was most intimate with, my mom and an old school chum whom I found in his own home. I'll visit you blog from time to time. I don't think I've opened up as much on mine but maybe in my own way. Hitchhikingstoriesusa.blogspot.com
Thanks, --dan
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[ this is good]
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