I was in an accident tonight. I am sore, but I think overall I will be fine. It seems like a wake up call of some sort. I am a glass half empty kind of girl, and tonight proves exactly why. When it was all over and I was safely inside my own walls I started thinking about my entire life, and how it doesn’t measure to where I want it to, and how this accident was just another example of steps backwards.
I know that
I am probably being over dramatic as there are many people with many more
issues than me, but that doesn’t mean that right now I don’t feel totally alone
in my struggles. This is exactly when being an only child kicks in. This is
where I feel the world should be all about me, and that someone should be more
than willing to draw me a bath, and tell me it will be ok when I cry.
That is the
thing about being an only child that sucks the most. The attention at times you
feel you need. It isn’t an all the time thing, but every now and then it’s
probably more needed than the average person. I do nothing small.
If I haven’t said it in a long time, it’s nights like these I miss Lust the most. Not because he could fix it, or even make it better, but just because he knows. It’s the knowing part that makes the rest so much easier. It sucks to have to let go of something or someone so important to have something like this happen and them be the person you feel would understand the most. Not the action itself, but the way you feel deep down and never judge you for it. Not even a little bit.
Is my word over? It feels like it right now. Is that me being dramatic, and making an mountain out of a mole hill? Probably so, but in my head and my world my glass just got kicked over.